myangelic-dreams

I know I have been neglecting this space.

It's been more than 20 days into December and now I'm typing this when it is going new year.

Actually, there's only like 2-3 days to new year.

I guess its really time to sum up what I've done so far this year and the things that I have met, be it people, incidents, matters whatsoever.

I must say that this year is one of those happening years of my life, especially in my University days cause I've gained a lot of different experience and a fair bit of haters in school as well. 

Maybe not to the extent of hate. Let's just say it is misunderstanding, I guess. It all started with not saying hellos because it was kind of awkward to say that, especially when the people are not really close and you are unsure of how they'll react.

Name it as an excuse or whatsoever but that was what I really felt. Even when I wanted to say hello, to be honest, my eyesight is really bad and I refuse to wear specs, resulting to me being like a blind mice on the streets.

I always have this dilemma of saying hi partly also because Im unsure if the person was the same person, whether she looked after when I smiled and if I smiled again, wouldn't it be weird? This often leads to people misunderstanding me and not knowing what happened.

I know cause I am not deaf.

But then, life goes on, be it whether they love or hate you. I have to admit I got really upset because of it but then again, no point making explanations since it wouldnt matter to them anyway.

Apart from that, this year is also the year where I lost the most or rather, going to lose some of them, who are the closest to my heart in my life so far.

One of them is going to another Uni, which made me teared the moment I had about the news. You must think that it is really silly for me to do that but once I get emotionally attached to someone, I get really dependent on that person and I fully trust that one special person, be it my best friend or lover or buddy or whatsoever.

This made me dread the next sem cause of the fact that nobody would be there for me 24/7, hearing my rants and gossips in school. Nobody will help me book GSR and laugh together with me in school. You know how hard it is to find someone whom you can really click with and comfortable with right? 

Yes, I'm losing that someone from the very beginning of next sem.

Easy for you to say that hey, you can sure meet up